When I close my eyes, memories return..
“Christmas is a joyous time of year, I love everyone here, and I want to add to everyone’s joy”, and out of nowhere there is a ring, and Richard is on his knee. “Olivia, will you please marry me?” Ten years of life and love, making a home, culminated at this moment.
My eyes open, it is the day after our engagement party. Richard is in a hospital bed. The doctors are telling us that they have found ‘masses’ in his abdomen. When I close my eyes, the dreams aren’t there. The priority is life. Just life.
What gets you through? Love. Remembering what has kept you together. And continue doing it. Sunday breakfasts, sand aliens at the beach, games of mini golf, dancing in the kitchen.. We never wanted a grand existence.
Today we are winning - we can dream, of the day we are husband and wife. I close my eyes…
And see lace, soft pastels. Candles in jars, fairy lights, copies of the great love stories, vintage. I see Richard. I see our family and dearest friends, and nearby, a candle on a pillar in honour of a cherished sister and grandparents who are watching over us and can only be with us in spirit.
We would dearly love to open our eyes and find it is reality.